You'd think I'd know by now...

Copyright 2006 LFWADE

To make a mental note re: the following:

- No matter how hard I want it to, the dryer will not dry clothes until I turn it on. Nor will the oven cook anything unless it is turned on.
- There is no way I will win the lottery without buying a ticket.
- Smell the milk before you pour it.
- It is not a good thing when the dogs get really quiet.
- The time to check for your house keys is before you pull the locked door securely shut.
- If I put celery or potato peelings down our garbage disposal it will get clogged; and I will have to put my hand in it to fish it all out. YUCK.
- The cell phone will run out of battery if you do not plug it in at least occasionally.
- The day I decide to make a big meal without planning it with my spouse will be the night he wants to treat me to dinner.
- If I put food in the trashcan in the den the dog WILL turn it over and root through it.
- If I stir-fry I will put on the exhaust fan or the smoke detector will go off.
- I don’t have to answer the phone every time it rings.
- The plants will not thrive unless I water them every now and then.
- The one load of laundry I choose not to do will contain the precise item of clothes that I really want to wear.
- The only way to loose weight is to diet and exercise.
- Claim your own successes even if it is hanging nine picture frames exactly plumb and level.
- The world will not end if I do not read the funnies every day.
- I do not need to monitor the contents of the kitchen cabinets at all times; it is permissible to close them.
- When I wake up five minutes before my alarm is supposed to get up I could just get up then.
- If you use the last of the toilet paper and fail to replenish it you may be the person stuck on the john without any.
- Picking at acne does not help it get better.