Television Hypnosis
Copyright 2006 LFWADE
If you take a two year old and show them minimal television (let’s say less than one hour a week) then you expose them to TV; they get hypnotized. I am not talking David Blaine, act like a chicken, hypnotized. I am talking night of the living dead, practically catatonic, hypnotized. Even if I reduce my television exposure to nil for a long period of time; I do not drool on myself when sesame street is on TV (well, I don’t drool too much).
I would say I am a high TV user, but a low TV watcher. I have it on, often, sometimes as much as four to six hours a night. But it is more about keeping me company than watching the content. I regularly watch only one show in prime time (Frontline) and that is only if I remember to turn it on. Mostly, I require another activity to occupy myself if I am sitting in front of the TV. Sometimes I crochet. Sometimes I sew or mend. I do the crossword almost every night, and by the end of the week that can take me all night. When I am really behaving I run on the treadmill*.
However, there are three things that induce the sort of mind sucking hypnosis that the “deprived” two year old will suffer from. They are surf movies, footage of volcanoes, and televised Texas Hold’em Poker. I can relate the first two to each other, but I have no idea where the poker fascination comes from. They are the only things on TV that I can wait out commercials for. Otherwise I am a chronic ‘flipper’. But if any of the above dance across my TV screen I am enraptured.
Surf movies entirely capture my attention. I don’t watch them like a fan. I can’t tell you who made The Endless Summer nor can I tell you who surfed the biggest wave ever in Step Into Liquid. But I can tell you that I have stood, mouth open, in the middle of a Sears watching some surfing footage until my dear husband rescued me from my stupor.
I have never surfed, never so much as gotten a knee up. I don’t really know any surfers. I don’t secretly harbor surfing fantasies. In fact, I always say, “I could never do that” when I see them. Not because of the amazing skills or athleticism required, but because I could never sit on a surf board with my legs dangling unprotected in the sea. Hello, Mr. Shark, why don’t you come and eat my feet? For that reason alone, I think surfers are nuts.
I think that my fascination centers on an appreciation or envy of such risk taking individuals (I am so risk averse I stop at all stop signs, even in empty parking lots). Also, I try to comprehend the power involved with surfing. By power, I really mean force in an F = MA way. The force of a large wave is monstrous; I am obviously attracted to the act of balancing on the precipice of disaster on a six foot long board. There must be something more to it than the risk taking. I am almost just as happy watching the waves alone, as those crowned by surfers.
Nature also rules my second televised heroin. Shows about volcanoes often show hot lava flowing down the sides of a mountain. I can watch that forever. My attraction to volcanoes is more aesthetic than the surf movies. I can’t even begin to comprehend the temperatures and extremes involved in hot lava. I don’t look at it at all on an intellectual level; I can’t. Who can understand what it means to be more than 1000 degrees Celsius? You might as well ask me to understand what a billion means.
I am deeply drawn to the contrast of the luminescent hot rock and the dark skies it is often filmed against. The constant motion of flowing lava (like the motion of the sea) is highlighted by changes in color, pattern, and texture. Even once the rock has ceased moving it has the fascinating characteristic of leaving behind exotic and beautiful formations. It is hypnotic and I can never pass it up.
The last of my trio is televised Texas Hold’em Poker. This is perhaps the most bizarre. I can’t relate to it intellectually – I only kind of know what beats what. I don’t play poker myself, I have NO poker face; you can read me like a book. And I don’t really approve of gambling (tax on stupidity if you ask me).
Unlike the surf or lava there is nothing aesthetically pleasing about televised poker. It is usually filmed in some dingy casino with bad lighting and worse décor. The players are a strange mix of people with poor grooming and worse social skills. On top of that there are very few I would classify as attractive; so I am not watching it for the scenery either.
Once I stopped to think about it I was puzzled. Why do I like watching it at all? The only thing I can come up with is that there is a thrill in the anticipation of the flop (the revelation of the ‘shared’ cards). Games can change radically with the flip of each card. I might be just as entranced by watching televised games of War or Go Fish. Maybe I should check out what’s on the Ocho.
I don’t indulge in my television weaknesses often. I don’t have any surf movies on tape or dvds (I might have one or two about volcanoes). Televised Poker usually comes on late at night. Maybe their rarity adds to some of their power. Just like the ‘deprived’ two year old, I don’t get exposed to my favorites often, so when they are on I stand hypnotized.
* I find it is physically impossible to watch my favorite junk TV show, America’s Funniest Home Videos (with Tom Bergeron, NOT that other guy) and run at the same time – can’t laugh and exercise at the same time. It doesn’t work.
If you take a two year old and show them minimal television (let’s say less than one hour a week) then you expose them to TV; they get hypnotized. I am not talking David Blaine, act like a chicken, hypnotized. I am talking night of the living dead, practically catatonic, hypnotized. Even if I reduce my television exposure to nil for a long period of time; I do not drool on myself when sesame street is on TV (well, I don’t drool too much).
I would say I am a high TV user, but a low TV watcher. I have it on, often, sometimes as much as four to six hours a night. But it is more about keeping me company than watching the content. I regularly watch only one show in prime time (Frontline) and that is only if I remember to turn it on. Mostly, I require another activity to occupy myself if I am sitting in front of the TV. Sometimes I crochet. Sometimes I sew or mend. I do the crossword almost every night, and by the end of the week that can take me all night. When I am really behaving I run on the treadmill*.
However, there are three things that induce the sort of mind sucking hypnosis that the “deprived” two year old will suffer from. They are surf movies, footage of volcanoes, and televised Texas Hold’em Poker. I can relate the first two to each other, but I have no idea where the poker fascination comes from. They are the only things on TV that I can wait out commercials for. Otherwise I am a chronic ‘flipper’. But if any of the above dance across my TV screen I am enraptured.
Surf movies entirely capture my attention. I don’t watch them like a fan. I can’t tell you who made The Endless Summer nor can I tell you who surfed the biggest wave ever in Step Into Liquid. But I can tell you that I have stood, mouth open, in the middle of a Sears watching some surfing footage until my dear husband rescued me from my stupor.
I have never surfed, never so much as gotten a knee up. I don’t really know any surfers. I don’t secretly harbor surfing fantasies. In fact, I always say, “I could never do that” when I see them. Not because of the amazing skills or athleticism required, but because I could never sit on a surf board with my legs dangling unprotected in the sea. Hello, Mr. Shark, why don’t you come and eat my feet? For that reason alone, I think surfers are nuts.
I think that my fascination centers on an appreciation or envy of such risk taking individuals (I am so risk averse I stop at all stop signs, even in empty parking lots). Also, I try to comprehend the power involved with surfing. By power, I really mean force in an F = MA way. The force of a large wave is monstrous; I am obviously attracted to the act of balancing on the precipice of disaster on a six foot long board. There must be something more to it than the risk taking. I am almost just as happy watching the waves alone, as those crowned by surfers.
Nature also rules my second televised heroin. Shows about volcanoes often show hot lava flowing down the sides of a mountain. I can watch that forever. My attraction to volcanoes is more aesthetic than the surf movies. I can’t even begin to comprehend the temperatures and extremes involved in hot lava. I don’t look at it at all on an intellectual level; I can’t. Who can understand what it means to be more than 1000 degrees Celsius? You might as well ask me to understand what a billion means.
I am deeply drawn to the contrast of the luminescent hot rock and the dark skies it is often filmed against. The constant motion of flowing lava (like the motion of the sea) is highlighted by changes in color, pattern, and texture. Even once the rock has ceased moving it has the fascinating characteristic of leaving behind exotic and beautiful formations. It is hypnotic and I can never pass it up.
The last of my trio is televised Texas Hold’em Poker. This is perhaps the most bizarre. I can’t relate to it intellectually – I only kind of know what beats what. I don’t play poker myself, I have NO poker face; you can read me like a book. And I don’t really approve of gambling (tax on stupidity if you ask me).
Unlike the surf or lava there is nothing aesthetically pleasing about televised poker. It is usually filmed in some dingy casino with bad lighting and worse décor. The players are a strange mix of people with poor grooming and worse social skills. On top of that there are very few I would classify as attractive; so I am not watching it for the scenery either.
Once I stopped to think about it I was puzzled. Why do I like watching it at all? The only thing I can come up with is that there is a thrill in the anticipation of the flop (the revelation of the ‘shared’ cards). Games can change radically with the flip of each card. I might be just as entranced by watching televised games of War or Go Fish. Maybe I should check out what’s on the Ocho.
I don’t indulge in my television weaknesses often. I don’t have any surf movies on tape or dvds (I might have one or two about volcanoes). Televised Poker usually comes on late at night. Maybe their rarity adds to some of their power. Just like the ‘deprived’ two year old, I don’t get exposed to my favorites often, so when they are on I stand hypnotized.
* I find it is physically impossible to watch my favorite junk TV show, America’s Funniest Home Videos (with Tom Bergeron, NOT that other guy) and run at the same time – can’t laugh and exercise at the same time. It doesn’t work.
posted by lfwade at 6:56 PM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
I googled 'television hypnosis' and your page was on page 1 near the top. Funny article, well written too. You must have surfed in a previous life or at least lived by the ocean.
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