Golden child
In my family favor is bestowed (in a tongue in cheek manner) upon the children by calling them "the golden child". Displeasure can be expressed by demotion to bronze or tin status. It is a coveted position but can be held by anyone - not just a member of the family. Smarts just a little when your father calls your little sister's friend "golden child". But - for good or bad - it is what it is. This system of ranking did not evolve until I was in grad school, so I hope it did not damage my psyche too much.
Golden child status aside. There were favorites in our family. Our parents vehemantly deny this, of course; but it was true. My father sidestepped any questions about favored status by telling me I was his favorite second daughter. I wasn't too old when I realized I was his ONLY second daughter.
For a giggle ask someone who has siblings who the favorite child in their family was. It is especially fun to pose this question in a group. The unfavored (that seems so harsh) can always identify one sibling who was given special treatment. It gets really funny when someone claims, "Oh, my parents didn't have a favorite." The person who makes this claim WAS the favorite. Ask their siblings they won't claim their parents were unbiased.
Obviously you shouldn't ask only children this question - what if they answered? They could say (honestly we hope) that they were the favorite. Or they could say (and we pray it is not so) that the dog was the favorite.
I go to bed each night satisfied that I am my father's favorite daughter who goes fishing with him; and I am my mother's favorite daughter who is also handy with a glue gun. In life, if I can maintain these two illusions I think I've got it made.
Golden child status aside. There were favorites in our family. Our parents vehemantly deny this, of course; but it was true. My father sidestepped any questions about favored status by telling me I was his favorite second daughter. I wasn't too old when I realized I was his ONLY second daughter.
For a giggle ask someone who has siblings who the favorite child in their family was. It is especially fun to pose this question in a group. The unfavored (that seems so harsh) can always identify one sibling who was given special treatment. It gets really funny when someone claims, "Oh, my parents didn't have a favorite." The person who makes this claim WAS the favorite. Ask their siblings they won't claim their parents were unbiased.
Obviously you shouldn't ask only children this question - what if they answered? They could say (honestly we hope) that they were the favorite. Or they could say (and we pray it is not so) that the dog was the favorite.
I go to bed each night satisfied that I am my father's favorite daughter who goes fishing with him; and I am my mother's favorite daughter who is also handy with a glue gun. In life, if I can maintain these two illusions I think I've got it made.
posted by lfwade at 12:28 AM
1 Comments:
My fathers favorite:
what a way to live! Well at least when your are a little girl. There really is nothing as sweet and close as a daughters head on her father's chest. According to my dad that's the way it is for every daughter, no matter what lucky number they are.
But as the years of asking for icream and soda fade into adulthood, I have come to agree with the maintenance of certain illusions.
Daddy's girl wears bows in her hair and breaks just like a little girl, but daddy's don't need to know how she is "just like a woman"
Fathers are not always the perfect problem solvers but they like to try.
Family time isn't always about the honey sweettea days of a golden childhood memory, when we were too young to know about the world and all things seemed perfect in a tree palace in the shade. It's about being together agin regardless of our favoriteism status.
Then there are a few things I want to keep believing
I will continue to believe that my parents love us equally. No matter what their behaviors say as they dote "golden child " onto any pawn who will rally the most excitement.
I will believe that beign "golden child" is a state of mind and a an attitude of conviction.
I will never forget that I am where I came from. And that is the result of having both golden and tin days.
Post a Comment
<< Home